I’ve come to the day where I have to start the chemotherapy regime to treat my multiple myeloma. I’d be less than honest if I said that I wasn’t a bit scared about it, given the concoction of drugs I’ll be putting into my system. There are three main drugs, a steroid called dexamethasone (which I’ve taken before and is frankly the least concerning); a drug called Revlimid that is a relative of an older drug called Thalidomide, which those of you my age may remember as having caused horrible unexpected birth defects in babies; and a drug called Velcade, which is a more modern targeted drug that is a proteasome inhibitor. On top of this, I have to take an anitviral and an antibiotic (to reduce the risk of infection due to the lowering of effectiveness of my immune system). So many pills that I had to create a document to track them all.
The collective potential side effects of the chemo treatment, which less than some types of chemo, are still daunting: impaired immune system and greater risk of infection, fatigue, peripheral neuropathy and nerve pain (a bummer since I already have that), blood clots, anemia, decreased appetite, liver problems, various intestinal problems, and more. Not everyone gets all of these, or any of these, but there’s no way to know what it’ll do to me.
On top of this — and please allow me to piss, moan, and whine some more — the promised reduction in pain from the radiation treatment seemed to level off last week. I’m still in serious pain, every step is a small torment, the pain medicine cuts down the level of the pain some but doesn’t eliminate it, while making me feel zonked out and run down all the time. I’m told the pain will eventually go down in a few weeks, but if it doesn’t, I just don’t know what I’ll do. I’m so very tired and frustrated being in constant, grinding, unceasing severe discomfort, of having to ask Suzie for help with so many small things, and of being unable to assist with normal household chores and duties. For someone like me, for whom independence and self-reliance is a keystone of my sense of self, feeling helpless and reliant is horrible (even though, at the same time, my gratitude and appreciation for Suzie and all my amazing friends who have been so supportive and helpful is a bright spot).
So we’ll see how it goes. Hopefully the pain will go down, the side-effects of chemo will be manageable, and in a few weeks my life will be on a more even keel. Think good thoughts.
One last note: Suzie has created an account for us on a site called “Meal Train” that allows for the coordination of the delivery of meals (and other assistance) for us by folks who are willing to do that for us. If you want to help out, please click on our Meal Train link, which you can also find at the top of the right column of my Blog. The link will take you to a sign-up calendar and a page with instructions. We’ve been amazed so far at the outpouring of help we’ve gotten, and have enjoyed several extremely delicious, amazing meals. Yum yum yum.
Thanks again to all of you who have been so supportive and kind in your comments and messages. All are very much appreciated.
Categories: Blogging